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Friday, January 2, 2015

New Year's Resolutions

                                                Happy New Year!

Friends, I thought that we should start the New Year off right. The extended family did quite a bit of travelling in the late summer and early fall visiting thousands of North Carolina residents who were expressing their concerns about fracking. Despite over 200,000 comments on the proposed rules (many with color glossy 8x10s with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one), little was changed. But, don't worry-the Mining and Energy Commission plans on continuing its work during the coming year.

As 2015 began, I was wondering if members of the Mining and Energy Commission made New Year's resolutions, and if they did, what might they be? Here are a few ideas:

Chairman Vik Rao: To stop saying "so" so much, and to get a talking stick for Commission meetings.
Vice-Chair Amy Pickle: To have a button installed that lights up and makes noise so she can alert others to pay attention when important stuff is being talked about.
Commissioner Ray Covington: To spin "forced pooling" into something that sounds like you would want it to happen to your grandma. Perhaps like Baker-Hughes' pink drill-bit, 
Commissioner George Howard: To continue reminding the Commissioners that the fracking rules are not intended to protect public health. And to find Bigfoot. Maybe they could do a DNA analysis of that hairball he is always talking about?
Commissioner Jim Womack: To continue his role as former chair of the Mining and Energy Commission, which shall include still acting like the Chairman. Also, to monopolize the talking stick.
Commissioner Jane Lewis-Raymond: To find out where Commissioner Pickle got that button.
The Rest of the Family: To be sure they don't end up on next year's list.